The Motha’s

Your hostess:  Cher Goldberg.  No pictures, no info.  Look the jury’s still out on my faux kids names, do you think I’m gonna tell you more about myself?  Yeah, I don’t think so.  Plus if I offend you, I wouldn’t want you to know where you can confront me so that you can scratch me off your revenge list.

 

Jenny Isenman:


 Jenny’s the founder of the awesomely funny and hugely popular TheSuburbanJungle.com.  She guarantees that reading it will make you smarter, tanner, and reduces cellulite.  She is also the mother of two amazing children who are not the least bit spoiled and have no attitude or entitlement issues.  She has a fabulous dog that had never had an accident and a cat who speaks Mandarin.  Sadly for the cat, Jenny does not.

If she could hold up one sign it would read:  “Will work for shoes.” or “Will learn Mandarin for shoes.” (if only the cat could afford shoes.)

If she could describe herself in one word it would be:  “Disarmingly-honest, anxiety-ridden, self-deprecating, hilariously-funny, humble, over-analyzing fashion-whore with a penchant for misusing hyphens.”

She has cellulite begging her to stop wearing short shorts, laugh lines screaming for restylane, crows feet crying for botox, and spends far too much money trying to look dewy.

Jenny’s Other Specialties include:  Resenting and nagging her husband, stressing about family trips months before they happen, and pretending she’s still cool, even though she realizes that calling herself “cool” is a sure sign that she’s not.

Her ultimate goal: To make life easier for women through laughter and tips, which will help them save time, money, face, and most importantly… SANITY!   Oh, and to teach dolphins to read.

Other shit about Jenny:   Jenny Isenman, is a humor columnist and lifestyle expert.  She’s also contributed segments to NBC locally and nationally as well as CBS, FOX, Momtourage and Nickelodeon’s ‘Parents Connect.’ A freelance writer by trade her work has been featured in local and national mags including Redbook, InStyle, Latina, and Mademoiselle as well as parenting and lifestyle sites: iVillage, Momtourage, HybridMom, SheKnows, NewParent, Babble, and Momtourage.

 

Lori Stefanac:
Lori is the creator of the wildly amusing humor blog, Lolais40.
She is a happily married Jewish mommy with 3 boys.
It should also be known that  she married a Shegetz. That means a “non Jewish dude” in Yiddish.
Actually, he converted to Judaism, but at the time Lori’s pretty sure he just thought he was ordering some good Jewish deli.
In addition to being a wife of “Shegetz” and momma to 3 AWESOME kidlets,  She is a serious writer.
Seriously.
She has no skills per se,  no real training, and she’s never published a thing, but she figures if she say it often enough and loud enough people will believe it. Or they will just agree with her to make her shut the fuck up. Either reason is good with her.
Oh, and she swears.
A lot.
If that offends you, she’s sorry.
Not for the swearing.
She’s sorry that you are so fucking uptight.
Life is short, People. Too short for political correctness and sweet talk.
What else? She’s a cartoonist. Another lie.
But she draws shit and she posts it for people to see. So that’s close enough. Her cartoons are typically about her family.
They are hysterically funny.
Ok… mildly amusing. Whatever.
It’s all semantics.
Anyhow, she’s very excited to be here at I’m a Jewish Mother, What’s Your Excuse?
She can’t wait to share bits and pieces of the misagose that is her life.

 

 Tracy Beckerman:

Tracy Beckerman is a nice Jewish girl from the suburbs of New York, who got married and moved to the suburbs of New Jersey where she learned the only difference between the Jewish girls in NY and the Jewish Girls in NJ is the size of their hair and which mall they go to.  After her kids were born, Tracy quit her high-powered job in television to stay home with her kids so she could be a great mommy and also have more time to go shoe shopping. Tracy is the author of the book, “Rebel without a Minivan: Observations on Life in the Burbs.”  She writes the syndicated humor column Lost in Suburbia, blogs for Lifetime Television’s show, The Balancing Act, is a contributing columnist at Today’s Mama and tries to convince her kids that Hebrew school is FUN (!) and no, they still can’t have a %&#@ Christmas tree even if they call it a Hanukkah bush.
Melissa Chapman

Melissa Chapman is an ex-yeshiva girl who married a nice jewish doctor–but her happily ever after didnt go exactly as planned.

She writes about her marriage and everything in between at www.marriedmysugardaddy.com

She writes for Lifetime Moms, Care.com, Momtourage and shares musing about living on Staten Island at www.thestatenislandfamily.com

Please join her on her guilt trip as one of the MOTHA’s.

 

 

 

 

Jen created her blog Don’t Wear Sweats or Your Husband Will Leave You, as a virtual girls night out.  Some of her favorite times are with her girlfriends, sitting around laughing and sharing.  Making fun of each other, ourselves, our lives.

She loves to talk about everything.  Raising kids, raising husbands.  She likes girlie stuff too and sometimes she just wants to talk about lipgloss or how to look less tired.

She’s about trying to get the most out of life and picking up pointers from everyone around her.

She finds life entertaining, and tries to not take everything too seriously, because there are too many serious things out there that could potentially keep her in my pajamas, rocking back and forth in the dark.

She loved living in New York City, but had to move to the suburbs for hubby’s work.  After years of ear infections, runny noses, and the realization that she couldn’t rock a turtleneck for the rest of her life, I begged my husband to move to Florida.  If you are going to live in the suburbs, shouldn’t you be warm?

So three kids, two dogs, one husband of fifteen years and she thinks she has enough material to share for a while.

Love her, hate her, just join her.  Oh, and don’t be scared by my blog title.  She’s wearing sweats right now, and she’s sure her husband is still in the other room… Well, pretty sure.

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6 Responses to “The Motha’s”

  1. alfred lives here January 2, 2012 at 4:53 PM #

    Love you! Just posted comment on Noah and Cher… aka Jewish and Gay (me!)… funny stuff!

    • Jenny From the Blog January 2, 2012 at 8:24 PM #

      Thanks Brahm… and I you. The way Justin Beiber loves his fans, but for real.

  2. Lori Stefanac January 3, 2012 at 12:23 PM #

    WOO HOO! I’m SO excited to be here! This is SUCH a fabulous opportunity!
    Um…where’s my trailer? And I DID request bottled water, did I not? Where’s Kraft services? You call THIS sushi? Makeup? MAKEUP? My nose is shining. I need powder PRONTO! Is my name THIRD on the roster? After Cher and Jenny? Can someone be a dove and take care of that? Ok, I’ll be taking a nap if you need me. Someone push my mani/pedi and massage back a couple of hours, K?

    Kisses, Dahlings!

    • Jenny From the Blog January 4, 2012 at 4:22 PM #

      I will say to u what I say to anyone who asks me for ridiculous things like paying for electricity or water or my car: it’s in the mail!!!

  3. Christene January 5, 2012 at 1:31 AM #

    I am loving everything I have read so far. I am definitely bookmarking this site.

  4. Tracy Beckerman January 11, 2012 at 10:21 AM #

    So excited to be a part of this blog! I’d love to stay and chat longer but I have to run… there is a huge sale at Neiman Marcus.

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