Written by Lori Stefanac of Lolais40
So, I know I blog about my bad memory and limited attention span a lot.
I can never remember.
Yeah. I just checked my archives.
I blog about these things quite frequently.
Anyhow, this time is different.
My bad memory and attention deficit have gotten me in trouble.
Or they may have.
Again, not so sure.
Nevertheless, I’m gonna fill you in on what I do recall.
My friend and I were talking.
She was telling me something important.
I know this because her eyes were knitted together indicating “importance”.
Maybe just a need for Botox?
What I DO know is that it’s her fault I wasn’t paying attention.
I mean, after the first sentence or two?
It became abundantly clear that this conversation was NOT about ME.
Was I supposed to stay tuned anyway?
I think not.
I started to nod my head when it seemed appropriate as I looked down at my strappy sandals and thought about how delicate they make my ankles look.
I also thought about how I should run out to Nordstrom to see if I can find them in other colors because they are really fucking cute on me.
I looked up eventually and she seemed to be wrapping up.
She thanked me.
I don’t know.
Apparently I am a really good friend.
Well, no surprise there.
Although I have the sinking feeling that by nodding along during this conversation?
I may have agreed to something.
Hmph. Imagine that.
Well, that brings me to today.
I have this sense that I have forgotten something but for the life of me?
I don’t know what.
If my friend had just had the sense to insert a “wow your hair looks great today” in the midst of her monologue, I might have had more reason to stay tuned in.
Alas, she did not.
I mean, just a simple “Hey, I LOVE your outfit” inserted in the middle of all that jabbering about me pet sitting her kids’ stupid fucking fish while they are away and Imight have maintained some focus.
Did I just say something about pet sitting fish?
I have to go.
I have to make a goldfish run.
The kids won’t know the difference between the new fish and their inexplicably dead fish, right?
And to think…
all of this nonsense could have been totally avoided if she had just told me that she likes my shoes.
About the Author: Lori Stefanac is the creator of the wildly amusing humor blog, Lolais40. She is a happily married Jewish mommy with 3 boys. She has no skills per se, no real training, and she’s never published a thing, but she figures if she say it often enough and loud enough people will believe it. Or they will just agree with her to make her shut the fuck up. Either reason is good with her.