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Marriage Amnesia

20 Apr

 

Hopefully by now you are getting to know me a bit better.  Maybe you have been able to tell that I like to view life’s challenges in simpler ways and can find great help in comparing everyday life issues with fashion issues.

Like the way I met my husband, Scott.  He fit me perfectly.  When I met him, it was like finding the most perfect pair of vintage Levis.  They were comfortable, made me feel good, and I didn’t think anyone else would find a pair like them.

So it pains me to sometimes see Scott as my hot pink Jag outfit, kulat pants included.  You know how you can love an outfit so much that it actually made you a happier person, then one day you go to get it out of your closet and you think, ”what did I ever see in you, this is the worst outfit I ever bought!”

And that, my friends, is marriage in a nutshell.  But don’t be alarmed, don’t start setting Scott up.  Because I am sure sometimes he sees me as his Z. Cavariccis, and his Van Halen muscle shirt.

That’s the point.  Sometimes, you are going to love everything about your mate, and then there will be other times where you have Marriage Amnesia.  Scott and I have had fights, and in that moment I can’t remember why I ever loved him, let alone liked him.  “Who are you, where am I?  Did I marry you?”  Kind of like that movie The Vow, that was just in theaters.  I didn’t see it, but I think the girl lost her memory, couldn’t remember her husband, and then he spent every day reminding her why she loved him.

Too sappy for me.  In the real world, you have to know going into a marriage that you will experience temporary amnesia from time to time.  It’s okay.   You and your guy have to work together to avoid making it permanent.

So how do you ward off Marriage Amnesia?  I have found that regular date nights  with my husband help a lot.  We will go to dinner, shoot the shit.  I will ask him if I am pretty and a good mom.  Stuff like that.  Or if we don’t have a sitter, we load the kids up on Benadryl and hide in our room.  (don’t call child protective services, kidding) However you can, you need to spend time together.  There’s a lot of tricks to avoiding Marriage Amnesia, find what works for you and stick to it.

 

Truth be told, I never throw out any of my outfits, because I always remember what I loved about them.

 

Jen Ross, Author, “Don’t Wear Sweats Or Your Husband Will leave You”

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My Husband Told Me I Can Sleep With Eminem

27 Feb

 

written by Jen Ross from Don’t Wear Sweats or Your Husband Will Leave You

I had a dream.  My husband and I are in Detroit eating at a restaurant.  Eminem approaches our table.  He turns to my husband and says, “I will sing two songs at your son’s Bar Mitzvah if I can have one night with your wife.”  Shocked, my husband and I turn to each other and he says “See you in the morning honey.  I think I am going to sleep in, so be quiet when you come back.”

So Eminem and I head back to his mansion.  I think we are going to get nasty together, but really he talks to me about his mother all night, he starts sobbing, and I end up rocking him back and forth in my arms.

I make him assure me that he will still sing at Ben’s Bar Mitzvah.

I wake up from that dream with one question on my mind.  Would Eminem have been good in bed?

No, not really.  I ask myself a question I am always struggling with.  How far should parents go to please their kids?  When my son was a baby and wouldn’t sleep, I would take him in the car, in the middle of winter, and drive him around until he fell asleep.

When my daughter is having a tantrum, and I should send her to her room, I offer up ice cream.

We all do so much for our kids.  We want them to be happy.  But am I making them happy, or spoiled jerks?  I think they might be happy jerks.

As parents, we aren’t doing our kids much good giving into every whim just because we want them to be happy.  It is our job to teach them they can’t get everything they want, things aren’t always going to be this easy, and it’s okay if you aren’t always happy.  If we don’t do this job now, they will enter the big mean world and expect everything to be handed to them.

They won’t want to work for anything, they will end up coming back to live with you, and then you will have to start all over just when you and your husband started enjoying the sweet taste of freedom.

So if your kids are being a jerks, discipline them, if they want the newest gadget, make them earn it.

And on a personal level, Eminem, if you are reading this, I am still available, and I would like you to sing “Lose Yourself”, and “Not Afraid” on Nov. 3 of this year.

Superficial Tip:  With all the money you are saving now that you have stopped buying stuff for your kids, go out and buy yourself something pretty as a reward for being such a good mom.  One of my favorite shopping sites: asos.com

Jen Ross has 3 kids, 2 dogs, a husband of 15 years and an emormous amount of material to share. She is also the author of the book “Don’t Wear Sweats Or Your Husband Will Leave You.”  Don’t take the title to seriously, she’s wearing sweats right now and she’s almost positive her husband is still committed.

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