I'm a Jewish Mom, What's Your Excuse?

A little history on this new blog that has – umm – little history:  this blog was originally named  ImAJewishMotherWhattheFuckisYourExcuse.com  Over the top? 

“Fuck,” as you know from the wildly popular “children’s tale,” Go the Fuck To Sleep, is a trending word.  Everyone loves a good well placed “fuck.” It says, I’m irreverent, unstoppable, fearless, really funny, have spent time around truck drivers and on trend.

However, I went with the current title out of fear of attracting an unseemly crowd.  Relax, I don’t find Jewish moms or their friends and neighbors unseemly.  Well, except for the ones from West Virginia.  Oh, don’t be so sensitive West Virginia.  But, I will say that anyone searching the internet using the key word combination: Fuck, Jewish, and Mother, is either looking for this woman: [...]

This is a blog about GUILT, ANXIETY, MISCONCEPTION, AGING, SEX, SARCASM, SALES, SHOPPING and OTHER SHIT.  WELCOME…

This isn't even me and unlike this guy, my husband does not look like an ogre who could eat me..

This is my alter-ego.  The me who says it all with no holds barred.  I’m so not telling you who I am… or at least until this thing takes off, but let’s just say I’m Uber famous.

Yeah, let’s say that.

I mean why not.

Of course with all my wealth I can’t afford a computer that puts the two dots over the U in uber, which by the way are called umlaut-dots.  I know this because I am also uber smart and know how to search things on Google.  But you know what, those umlauts can go fuck themselves.  Oh yeah, I said that, and I cuss too.

They weren't so chipper when I told them to Fuck Off

Yep, like a truck driver.

Without provocation.

When it doesn’t even fit the story.

Gratuitously… Like Halle Berry’s nude scenes in “Swordfish” or Paris Hilton’s nude scenes in her texting video, I mean sex tape.

See, I would never tell umlauts to fuck themselves in real life for fear that one might beat me up or worse, not like me.  But anonymous alter egos can do lots of shady shit.

For instance:  [...]